I’ve started writing at strayangel again. I’m going to continue writing here too. Hopefully. I don’t know which one is going to dominate yet but all bets point towards the blogger blog. Hey, I like having more variety in my templates and besides it’s wayy older, almost as old as my first blog. Even so, that place has a bad history so we’ll see how it goes.

Stop me.
When you see me walking past you, stop me.
Ask me why I don’t see you anymore.
Make me remember what you meant..still mean to me.
Because I don’t want to lose you by being blind,
By stepping around you in a busy, crowded, apathetic street.

Sometimes you just want to go back to the beginning and start over. Have the same conversations over the same coffee – the one from that cafe down the road that you don’t even go to anymore; laugh the same way but avoid all the crying and wishing for the things that you can’t have. You know, just live in the moment and make the most of it because this time you’ll know it won’t last.

I’m totally hooked on Heroes. Somebody please…make me study!

I’m the diva queen of emotional e-mails.

That’s just it, isn’t it? I don’t think! I never think. I just do. And now I’m going to f-ing hate this trip and it’s all my bloody fault. What am I going to do?

I turn around and look at the empty space where you used to be. It’s not so barren anymore, I can see blades of grass poking through the hard concrete. Occasionally a black cat walks past swaying gracefully from side to side purring contentedly. There are no menacing clouds blanketing your spot anymore. People don’t feel like they have to walk around your territory. Why, only yesterday, a man walked right in and looked around the property, musing no doubt as to whether it’s a nice enough place to reside in. I didn’t say it was open for visitors. I couldn’t yet, when the memories are so fresh and achingly sweet. But I think he knew. If not today, then tomorrow. I can’t leave a chunk of my heart just lying around for anybody to tramp on. It has to pass on into someone else’s keeping. But for now, I wait. It’s brighter already but I want to absolutely sure before I let someone else in.

There are some people you like spending time with. So when you move on, you just want to pick them up and carry them along with you. Then real life steps in and shakes you awake. This is how it used to be..it can’t be this way anymore..we can’t exist in new circumstances…we’re no longer so-and-so.

I like rain. It rained a couple days ago so I did what I’ve been wanting to do for the longest time. Well, sort of. I actually want to play football when it’s raining. Maybe with Wolf if I can’t find anyone else. But I did the next best thing. I went to the terrace and sat down smack in the middle of it. That was fun for a while. Then I lay down. It was even better. I was there for an hour. Hoping against hope that it would last forever. It just slowed down and ended though. Damn those unfaithful black clouds!

That was then. Yesterday I discovered that I tend to look around for help when I am subjected to..umm, overt flirting (or whatever it was). I was saved both times but hmm, it was kind of weird. People are nice though. Very protective. Even strangers.

Okay I don’t think any of this would make much sense except to myself so I’ll just stop now. I watched Khuda Ke Liye today. Damn good movie. I’m using the word ‘damn’ too much aren’t I? University starts today. Thanks to my sister I won’t be able to help the PCO. Too damn sleepy to wake up before I absolutely need to for class. Wish the rugby thing holds.

Weird day. Wolf’s gone till tomorrow. Somewhat worried, very much dead.

Too much. Going too fast. Need to slow down? Cool as it is? Over-analyzing? Probably. Chill.